Have you ever heard of ACEs? Typically, the word ace brings about thoughts of card games or "acing" a test. However, in the world of therapy, it is an acronym for Adverse Childhood Experience (sometimes we call this trauma). An ACE is a "traumatic event or experience in childhood that goes on to affect a person's mental, emotional, or physical well-being." These events can be loss of a parent, foster care, extreme sickness, physical/emotional abuse, etc. The earlier in a child's life that these events take place, the greater impact they tend to have on the mental health of the childhood lasting into adulthood.
Typically, children do not know how to process or express these experiences and may not even realize that they are "adverse," nor do they realize the impact that they have. These experiences then bring about feelings of depression, anxiety, and unworthiness which can present and be seen through behavioral issues, emotional outbursts, etc. This impact is due to the stress response in relation to a person or environment that is traditionally perceived as "safe." When this happens on a regular basis, it shapes a child's attachment style and emotional responses.
While this information may sound scary and discouraging, just as a broken bone changes a person's body but can be healed, ACEs are similar. With time, effort, support, and appropriate treatment, a child or adult can heal from and work toward healing long-ago or recent adverse experiences.
As we consider different types of adverse experiences that our children may have, it is important to provide security in the form of emotional support and encouragement along with firm, consistent boundaries. In doing so, you are showing your child that they are able to talk to you and receive kindness and support, but also showing them that they have a safe environment to go home to and that you are a part of that environment.
For more information on Adverse Childhood Experiences, please read or watch Dr. Nadine Burke Harris.
Alicia Eggleston
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